


Mission: Get Laid

by Dmnq8



Series: Mission (Naruto) [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Brief Kaka/Saku, F/M, M/M, friendship/romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-29
Updated: 2010-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:04:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dmnq8/pseuds/Dmnq8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi smiled broadly. Poor, poor students, to have been stuck with such a pervert for a teacher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mission: Get Laid

__

Prologue

_Sasuke was indeed bitten by Orochimaru during the Chuunin exams, but he didn't leave with the Sound Four. Instead, after they'd contacted him, he thought on Kakashi's talk. The one his sensei had given him after his fight with Naruto on the hospital roof. He displayed the sense and intelligence he was known for and petitioned the newly appointed Fifth Hokage for an audience. When it was granted, he told her he'd been approached by Orochimaru's followers and given the opportunity to avenge his clan. He said that if she didn't provide an alternative offer, he'd take theirs, because the Uchiha had to be avenged and Itachi simply had to die._

_Tsunade did not take kindly to a preteen giving her orders and ultimatums, but certain things had come to her knowledge upon taking office. Secret files that the Third had kept, for instance. In them, she'd learned that Danzo and a few of the council had orchestrated the coup against the Uchiha and the reason behind it. She called a meeting between Kakashi and all the members of Team 7, and told them what had been behind the Uchiha clan massacre. She relayed Itachi's role. Then she gave them an alternative to Sasuke seeking power elsewhere: deal with the Sound Four and Orochimaru, and through him Akatsuki, and in return she would see what she could do to get Danzo and the council members to stand trial for what they'd done. She would attempt to bring Itachi home and end his missing-nin status._

_Sasuke, stunned that his brother wasn't at all who he'd spent the years thinking he was, turned to his team and came close to begging. "You have to help me," he said. "As my team and the closest thing to a family that I've got, you have to help me."_

_Naruto agreed right off, all animosity between them forgotten. Sakura, too, swore to help Sasuke deal with Orochimaru, his men, and Akatsuki. Kakashi warned that this mission would likely take years, and possibly their lives. His three students glared with fierce determination. He'd then turned to the Hokage and accepted the mission on behalf of his team. He did wonder, though, how effective they'd be, Genin as they were._

_They plotted strategy and outcomes for several hours._

-oOo-

_It was decided that Sasuke would go undercover by handing himself to the Sound Four. They gave him pills and stuffed him in a special container, all things that had been unexpected, but Kakashi and the rest of Team 7 did not interfere. They watched from their hiding place, and followed once the Sound nin were on the move._

_The fight with Orochimaru and the ones who'd brought Sasuke was decided largely by Naruto and Sasuke. Kakashi had been completely unable to control either of them, especially given Sasuke's advanced stage of his cursed seal. Sasuke had burst out of his barrel halfway through Naruto taking on the Sound nin, and had immediately lent aid. Kakashi killed Kabuto and Kimimaro, with difficulty. He was severely depleted of chakra and laying on the ground near Sakura, who sat trying to shield him with her kunai. She needn't have bothered._

_Naruto and Sasuke took on Orochimaru and, because he was so weakened due to his need of a replacement body, they were able to kill him._

_His hideout proved to be rich in information on Akatsuki. This was taken back to Konoha and handed to Tsunade, who made good use of the knowledge. She was able to prevent Gaara's capture by warning Suna in time of Akatsuki's plans to target him. She likewise informed the Raikage of plans against his brother. The Raikage thanked Konoha profusely and sent his brother to a secret island._

_Team 7 trained. If they were going to take down Akatsuki, they needed to become stronger. To that end, Jiraiya was called in to assist Kakashi in training his students, and even Tsunade herself stepped in to help them. All of Konoha knew of the plan to take on Akatsuki. Team 7 was the strongest team the Fire Country had seen since the Sannin themselves had been Genin._

-oOo-

_It took years, but finally Akatsuki came after Naruto. The village was destroyed, but Team 7 defeated Pein in the end. And when Madara himself came after Naruto, they put into motion the plan they'd decided upon. This time Naruto was the one who allowed himself to be captured and go undercover. The rest of Team 7, Jiraiya, Gaara and Killerbee followed, giving the aid they'd promised Tsunade when she'd successfully warned them before._

_The battle was definitely ugly, but so caught unawares was Akatsuki that the Leaf ninja and their allies were able, barely, to prevail. Itachi, to the surprise of the dying Akatsuki members, turned on them and fought alongside his brother. Together with Sasuke, he was able to kill Madara. The reunion between the brothers had been long and heartfelt, tearful and emotional._

_Itachi accompanied them back to Konoha. Jiraiya was in bad shape, and Itachi seemed ill. Their victory was greeted by the entire village waiting for them. Tsunade, once the celebrations were done, pulled Sasuke and Itachi aside and told them she would keep her promise and deal with Danzo and the council._

_That turned out to be very tricky indeed. The council members and Jounin went back and forth, citing their rights as elders of the village and how the Third had allowed it. Tsunade fired back with how Sandaime had wanted a peaceful resolution to the conflict with the Uchiha. She called for impeachment of the council members and the disbanding of Root. Gaara and the Raikage lent their support, saying that Tsunade had the backing of both their countries in this. If need be, the other Kage would be called and a formal summit assembled._

_Word got out about what the council and Danzo had done. The entire village rallied in support of Itachi and Sasuke, sympathy pouring in from all sides at the injustice done to them and their clan. The council members and Danzo were exiled. Itachi was reinstated as a citizen of Konoha and lauded as a hero._

_Unbeknownst to anyone save Shizune and the ANBU unit she dispatched to do the job, Tsunade had Danzo and the council members hunted down and assassinated. She would not have them plotting factions against her or her village, or risk Sasuke and Itachi suffering 'accidents' from them at a later time._

_She tended to Jiraiya and Itachi herself. Sakura and Ino assisted her. Jiraiya healed in time, but Itachi was another matter. He had an illness Tsunade had never seen before. She spent countless sleepless days devising a cure. After many failures, she finally concocted one that she thought was doing the job of healing him. Notes Team 7 had brought back from Orochimaru's hideout, notes belonging to Kabuto concerning one Kimimaro, proved to be invaluable. Itachi was steadily improving._

_Team 7, through all of this, had neglected to reapply for the Chuunin exam. They did so, with Itachi watching his brother proudly, and passed with flying colors. Kakashi decided to call his students together one last time before Team 7 was finally retired._  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

# Mission: Get Laid

It was the same spot they'd used for the bell training, the three students saw. They were much older and wiser now. Sasuke and Naruto were starting to fill out, their limbs beginning to show the musculature of adulthood. Sakura was ripe and curvy with her years, her pink hair pulled back into a short ponytail. All three of them were energetic, vital, and thoroughly devoted friends to each other; they'd been through too much for things to be otherwise. They wouldn't have made it as far as they had without unwavering trust in their strength as a team and this showed whenever they were together which, so far, was most of the time.

"Is it like a cosmic law that Kakashi-sensei has to be late to every fucking thing?" Naruto asked around a yawn. For some reason this meeting had been called just after sunset. Considering the fact that he'd been up since the previous night, partying hard with the rest of his team in celebration of their new status, he thought it righteously unfair that they'd be given another mission without first being allowed to sleep.

"I know, right?" Sakura huffed. "A girl needs her beauty rest."

Sasuke pushed the heels of his hands into his aching eyes, speaking around his own yawn. "Wuh-huh-hunder what the mission is. We're Chuunin now, we're supposed to be on our own, right? Besides, Itachi is throwing me a surprise party tomorrow. I want to be all nice and rested so I can act properly surprised."

Sakura narrowed her eyes at Naruto but spoke to Sasuke. "You know about it! Who told you?"

Naruto busied himself looking at a firefly, pretending he hadn't heard. Sasuke hurried to defend him. "It was an accident… and he didn't exactly tell me. I saw the invitation at his place."

Sakura grumbled, folded her arms, and put her head back. She groaned. "Wish he'd get here already."

Her wish was granted when Kakashi appeared in a cloud of smoke, reminiscent of their early days together. It made the three Chuunin smile nostalgically. The carefree days of their youth were missed sometimes. So much had happened since then. They'd bled together, faced death together… killed together. They looked at their masked sensei in sudden respect and love, realizing that he was as much a part of them as they were to each other. Kakashi and his students were truly family. They waited with trusting expressions to hear the purpose for this meeting.

-oOo-

Kakashi smiled broadly beneath his mask. He felt they were long overdue for what he was about to say. Besides, what he had in mind was largely for himself and the amusement it would provide him. He was hard-pressed not to laugh at what their reactions were likely to be. He forced his face into serious lines as he cleared his throat. Poor, poor students, to have been stuck with such a pervert for a teacher.

"So! You're all grown up now, Chuunin and everything," Kakashi began robustly. "I feel we should send off Team 7 with a little celebration of our own."

That had them a little more awake. "Aren't we being given a mission?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Kakashi said with a private titter. "In a way. Whether or not you actually complete the mission is up to you. I will say that only a coward would fail to do so."

That had all their spines stiffening, eyes wide open now. There were no cowards present, their expressions said. Kakashi had to mask his growing mirth in a feigned cough.

"Yosh, the mission," he went on when he'd recovered. "As proper adults now, and no longer in need of supervision, the mission is designed to test your judgment and skills in persuasion. It will take cunning, strength of mind, and determination to accomplish the mission. Once done, you will be officially on your own, capable of governing your own lives. Understood?"

Kakashi was well-aware that the mission required none of those things, or more accurately, that the mission was really just for him to see what they would do. He expected to get a good laugh out of it. He saw their firm nods, their faces alive with the will to prove themselves. My, they sure were getting riled up! Time to drop the bomb.

"Ready to hear the mission?" he asked in a snapping voice of authority.

They almost saluted him, so straight and alertly did they stand and watch him. "Yes, Sensei!" they chorused.

"It's simple. Get laid."

They were nodding and promising to get laid before the words had fully penetrated their ardent desire to succeed. Sakura was the first to frown. Then Sasuke gasped deeply. Naruto was still nodding with his fist up, eyes burning to get started. Sasuke looked aside at him and whacked him in the head. Then Naruto caught on. He stared at Kakashi with wide eyes. They all did, obviously waiting for further instructions. Perhaps a denial would be forthcoming from their teacher and they could all have a nice, tension-relieving laugh over his joke.

But no. Kakashi looked at them expectantly. Typically, it was Sakura who hesitantly raised her hand. "Um, sensei? Wh-what do you mean?"

"I thought it was pretty clear myself," Kakashi said. He was profoundly thankful that it was dark and his tears of laughter were invisible. "You are to choose someone and get yourselves decently laid. You have twenty-four hours to complete the mission. We will meet here, same time, tomorrow evening. And if, for some reason, one or more of you is unable or unwilling to accept the mission, I'll know. Once a person has sampled the pleasures of the flesh it shows. However, failure will not affect your status as Chuunins."

 _It would simply label you forever as cowards and children_ , the three students interpreted from Kakashi's sudden silence.

Kakashi left then, saying he would see them tomorrow. He wished them luck, then was gone in his cloud of smoke. Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto looked at each other.

"He's not serious," Sasuke announced bracingly. He had to work to keep the nerves from shaking his voice. "He can't be."

Naruto snorted. "He's the most perverted man alive, after Ero-sennin. Of course he was serious." He threw his arms behind his head and stared off toward the village, seemingly unconcerned.

"But that's ridiculous," Sasuke reasoned desperately. "How can he give us a mission like that? It's unethical. It probably isn't even legal. We should go to the Hokage and launch a formal complaint. Who's with me?"

Sakura tightened her ponytail angrily. "How dare he dictate our first time with someone! It should be special, not some mission he gave us."

Sasuke turned to her gratefully, nodding emphatically. "I know, right? Let's go complain."

"I'm going to complain directly to _him_ ," Sakura grouched. She stormed off, already putting on her gloves. A hundred yards away, she leapt and used the trees to speed her out of sight.

Naruto shook his head. "She's actually going to take on Kakashi-sensei. By herself. Well, it was nice knowing her." He turned and looked at Sasuke. "So now what?"

"I'm not doing it," Sasuke said firmly. His eyes were opened wide, Naruto saw, almost glowing white in the darkness. "I might even tell my brother how Kakashi tried to guilt us into having sex. What about you?"

Naruto shrugged a shoulder. "If you won't, I won't either. Who needs Kakashi and his dumb missions? Dude, we're Chuunin now, we can do whatever we want."

"Exactly."

Sasuke turned and started heading home. Naruto walked at his side. Since Itachi had been back in the village, he and Sasuke had been living together, rebuilding their bond as brothers. Naruto had been invited to live with them. He'd declined, but he spent nearly all his time there anyway, seeing as he and Sasuke were best friends.

-oOo-

Kakashi watched them leave, finally free to give in to his hysterical whoops of laughter. The looks on their faces! _Priceless_ , dear God. He was up in a tree, beating the trunk with his fist, when the sudden unmasking of chakra directly behind him had him spinning around, all laughter gone. His one eye widened somewhat, impressed. "Sakura?"

"Glad to see you're amused," Sakura hissed frostily. She measured the distance between them. Thirty feet, not far. Her tree was next to his, all she had to do was hop down and onto his branch. "Personally, I don't think you have a right to decide when we have sex."

He gazed up at her angry face. "You're right, I don't. And you're free to refuse the mission, as I stated. Are you refusing?"

Sakura jumped, and landed in front of him. The wide branch creaked faintly at this added weight. She straightened from her crouch and glared at him. "Actually, I'm doing the mission."

Kakashi was highly alert. Her stance, the color in her cheeks, the way her eyes didn't blink as they stared at him, all suggested that she was close to attacking him in her anger. Especially since she had her gloves on, a detail he'd noticed the moment she'd appeared. His back was to the tree trunk as she stepped closer to him. If she agreed to the mission, what was her problem?

She stopped when she was directly in front of him, no more than a foot away. She cocked one hip and rested her hand on it, the fingers from her other hand tapping her thigh. She looked pissed, Kakashi mused. "Shouldn't you be off chasing Sasuke, then?"

"I would," Sakura drawled. "If I was still interested in him. No, I've made my choice, and it's not Sasuke."

Kakashi stared down at her, dawning realization making his voice low. "Who is it?"

"You." And here Sakura reached up and undid her ponytail.

Kakashi watched the red ribbon fall to the forest floor, before bringing his gaze up to study her once more. Her body filled out her Chuunin uniform nicely. Her breasts had matured into shapely orbs that modestly swelled above the neckline of her top. Her hips and thighs were firm, but rounded. A stray breeze blew a few strands of her hair across her brow, which she tossed aside with an impatient move of her head. She waited, fingers still tapping her leg.

 _Well, she is almost seventeen now… and God knows I've dreamed about taming her forceful ways more times than I can count_ , he thought. Raising his eye to her defiant face, he wondered how long she'd last with him. He intended to find out.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Morning revealed Sasuke and Naruto up early and getting dressed. Itachi gestured to the breakfast he'd made and asked them point blank, "Where are you two going?"

The two teens looked at each other. They were so used to meeting with the rest of Team 7 and training that they'd completely forgotten their time was largely their own now. They ducked their heads sheepishly and hurried to the table. Itachi made good breakfasts.

Itachi watched them scarf down food as he took the medication Tsunade had prepared for him. He was to take it for a year. Already, he felt much stronger. Sasuke talked to him while he ate, making his heart lurch painfully as it hit him again how much of his brother's life he'd missed. _Look at him. All grown up and Chuunin._ He smiled as they dashed out the door, no doubt off to celebrate again. He cleared up the dishes, then went to take a nap. He wasn't fully recovered yet, and he'd need his energy for the party tonight.

-oOo-

"Fuck, I am so _bored_ ," Naruto moaned. They'd wandered around for most of the morning, looking for something to do. "How is it that all the years while we were training we were able to think up a hundred things we'd rather be doing, but now that we have the time to do them we can't find shit to do?"

"Beats me. Think Sakura is doing that mission?"

They were walking aimlessly, meandering through the market square. Naruto looked at him as he paid for a large fried squid. "I thought it was decided that none of us were doing it? I haven't given it another thought."

Sasuke had thought of nothing else whatsoever _but_ the mission since they'd received it. "Yeah, well she didn't say she wasn't. She just said she was taking it up with Kakashi."

"So that means she isn't doing it." Naruto bit juicily into his squid.

"Moron. You've never noticed how she looks at him?"

Naruto choked. "At who, Kakashi-sensei? You're lying. I thought she had the hots for you!"

"And then she left pretty quickly last night," Sasuke said, ignoring Naruto. "I bet I know what her confrontation with Kakashi was about. Bet she couldn't wait to corner him."

Naruto's squid waved in the air. "Whoa, you think Sakura is actually going to have sex with Kakashi-sensei? He'll turn her down for sure."

Sasuke seemed lost in thought as he stared straight ahead, walking steadily. He spoke as if to himself. "I've seen him looking at her. We'll all be training, learning a move, and he'll be off to the side, with his girly book up to his face. Except, he's not reading. He's got his eye on Sakura's ass, or her tits, or some other part of her. I bet he beats his crank to dirty thoughts about her."

Naruto was shocked. But Sasuke was the genius. If he said their teacher was in fact a bigger pervert than Ero-sennin, who was he to disagree? He stared at Sasuke with bug-eyed awe. "But we're her best friends. How come she didn't tell us?"

"Probably thought we'd try to talk her out of it, or tease her. You know what this means, don't you?" Sasuke asked suddenly. They were out of the market square now, nearing the training grounds.

Naruto tripped and nearly fell at Sasuke's sudden change in tone. "No, what?"

"Means you and I will be the ones who failed the mission. We'll be called coward by Sakura until we die. She'll never let us live it down. She'll always have the upper hand and tease us about the fact that she lost her virginity first."

"How do you know she's a virgin?"

"That's not the point. The point is, we're a team and were given the mission as a team, and so should pass or fail as a team. Sakura's probably bouncing on Kakashi as we speak; we haven't seen either of them today. She's forced our hand."

Naruto remembered the squid he was holding and bit into it. He grimaced. It was cold now. "Because…?"

"What are you, deaf? What have I just been saying? It'll be a battle of the sexes type thing, with her saying that girls are stronger and braver and all that shit, just because she went and got herself laid with some dirty old man that likely would have paid her for the opportunity to see her naked. God, you are so fucking _thick_ , Naruto."

They were at the training grounds now. They walked on, Sasuke frowning as he contemplated Sakura's whereabouts, or so Naruto thought. They were heading towards the Forest of Death, where Sasuke had been bitten. At the gate, they turned and leaned their backs against it, the sun beating down on them unmercifully.

Twenty minutes went by as Sasuke frowned at a bee buzzing around a cluster of daisies. Naruto turned, reached his hands up, and linked his fingers through the fence. He leaned his forehead against the warm metal, remembering how he'd saved Sasuke's skin from Orochimaru during their first Chuunin exam.

"I mean it's not like it's an easy thing to do, just up and get laid," Sasuke burst out.

Naruto didn't want to be called dense again, so he pretended this statement was in context with something previously mentioned. He turned around and nodded in fake understanding. "You got that right."

"Sex is like… personal."

"Yup."

"The kind of thing that can only be done with someone you really love."

"Mmhm."

"Or like."

"Hallelujah."

"Or trust."

"You tell 'em, Sasuke."

Sasuke glanced sideways at where Naruto was watching a passing cloud. "What are we doing?"

Naruto brought his eyes to Sasuke's face. "Talking?"

Black stare.

"Standing?"

Scowl. Twitch of a black brow.

Naruto grinned in triumph. "Talking _and_ standing."

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, Sasuke?"

"I meant about the mission."

"What mission?"

Sasuke had to remind himself that there was absolutely no one on earth who had his back or came through for him like Naruto. That when it came down to it, when the shit was really hitting the fan, Naruto was fucking unstoppable. He was a damned good person to have as an ally, the most loyal of friends, and could usually be counted on for a laugh and some cool ideas. But _fuck_ , was he ever dumb sometimes. "It's either pity you or kill you, you know that?" Sasuke said.

"What'd I do?" Naruto pouted.

" _The fucking mission Kakashi gave us, you nimrod!_ " Sasuke screamed. He was calm again instantly, smoothing his features into an expression of long-suffering patience. "What are you and I doing about it?"

Naruto had flinched at Sasuke's shout. Now he cautiously lowered his hands from where he'd defensively raised them to protect his face. "Oh. Right. I thought we weren't?"

"Sakura's doing it."

"We don't know that. She could be off doing any number of things." Naruto saw that Sasuke seemed to consider this. He appeared to be safe again, no longer in danger from Sasuke's temper. He relaxed completely and hooked his thumbs into his Chuunin vest.

"You know what? You're right," Sasuke said thoughtfully. "We should confirm if whether or not she's gotten herself laid. Then we can decide what to do ourselves. Let's check out her and Kakashi's apartments."  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sakura's mother informed them that their team mate was out. "Haven't seen her since yesterday. I'll let her know to go find you two boys when she gets home. Would you like to come in for some milk and cookies?" she asked warmly.

Naruto already had a foot in the door, the smell of freshly baked cookies pulling him in. Sasuke dragged him out again by his collar. "No thanks, Ma'am. We'll be on our way."

-oOo-

They didn't want to knock on Kakashi's door. For one thing, he might be home. He'd answer the door, see that they hadn't, as yet, managed to get laid, and have something snide to say about it. For another, if Kakashi _was_ home, but screwing Sakura, they didn't want to interrupt and thus be at risk for whatever retaliation Sakura or Kakashi had in mind. Sasuke pointed to a roof top a few houses over that afforded a view of Kakashi's bedroom window. They sprang up and settled in this spot. They had to move south a bit to get an angle that would let them see inside, but once they did, nearly the whole room was visible through the open window.

"Well… that… I don't believe it," Naruto murmured in shock. "He _still_ has his mask on!"

"Damn. I was sort of hoping I was wrong," Sasuke whispered. Then, "So… that's the measure of a Jounin."

Naruto knew what he meant. "Wonder if I'll ever grow to be that impressive…"

"Sakura seems to be enjoying it?"

"Sure looks like it."

That was the truth. Kakashi could be seen sitting at the end of his bed, with Sakura facing away from him on his lap. He held her legs spread to an almost one eighty degree angle as she braced her hands on his hips behind herself. He rammed her down repeatedly on his cock, making her ride him furiously. Her breasts bounced wildly with each impact. Her head was thrown back, her face scrunched into a look of pain, but she was screaming incoherent words of ecstasy. The sound of her voice drifted out to the boys through the window, high and faint, but very clear. Kakashi reached between her legs and rubbed briskly for a few moments as Sakura rode him, and then she screamed her loudest yet, kicking and scratching at his thighs.

Sasuke sucked his teeth and stood to leave. Naruto shook his head and joined him. They leapt down to the street and walked, each lost in their own thoughts.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The deep golden rays of afternoon turned the botanical gardens behind the Hokage monument into a miniature paradise. The koi ponds sparkled, their jewel-like occupants darting here and there beneath the surface. The trees were lush and in full bloom. Sasuke dropped down on a rock near one of the ponds, while Naruto sat Indian style on the small red bridge spanning it.

"Guess we have to do it," Naruto sighed finally. "Any ideas?"

Sasuke had been turning a blade of grass over in his hands. He looked up now, suddenly curious. " _You_ got any ideas?"

"I asked you first."

"You have to answer _me_ first."

"How's that?"

"Because I'm older."

"So?"

"Because I said so."

"So?"

"Because if you don't, I'll tell Sakura you peeked at her in the hot springs last year and saw her masturbating."

Naruto gawked. "Son of a… you wouldn't! She'd kill me!"

"Tell me who you have in mind," Sasuke demanded relentlessly.

"No one! All right? I mean, I used to have a crush on her, but that was before everything that happened. I love her like a sister. Now you tell me who you have in mind."

Sasuke looked aside. "Well… you remember I said it should be someone you like or trust?"

"Yeah?"

"So I think it should be you."

"Come again?"

Sasuke glanced over to gauge Naruto's reaction. It wasn't anywhere near as surprised or outraged as he'd expected it would be. The dobe had his chin propped on his fist, his elbow on one knee. He had a twig twirling through the fingers of his other hand. "You. Me. Doing the mission."

Naruto was intensely fascinated at the sheer nerve of the jerk. "What makes you think I'd agree to that?"

"'Cause you want me," Sasuke stated matter-of-factly.

"Says who?"

"Everybody wants me."

"True enough, but I never said that I did."

Sasuke took on a lecturing tone. "The first time you went Kyuubi was because you thought I was dead. You so want me."

Naruto was silent a moment, the gall of Sasuke making him speechless. His twig kept twirling lazily, like a propeller. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"Well, if not me then who will you do the mission with? Hinata?"

Naruto sat up straight and rolled his eyes. He tossed the stick at one of the fish swimming under the bridge. "You're never going to let me live down her confession, are you."

"Dude, she announced it in front of the whole village. How could I possibly pass up the opportunity to rag on you about it? It was epic!"

"Yeah, well if you and Sakura had been there to bail my ass out, she wouldn't have had to take on Pein like that."

"How many times do I have to tell you that we got held up-"

"-Fighting the other bodies, yeah I know. And I could never do that to her."

"What?"

"Take advantage of her feelings like that. If I asked her to do the mission she'd probably say yes, but… I don't love her. I like her and trust her, I guess, but she'd be really hurt at finding out it was only a mission for me."

Sasuke closed his mouth. It had been hanging open a bit at hearing Naruto actually show higher brain functions by considering how Hinata would feel. "So, that leaves… who?"

Naruto squinted at the sky, the sun directly in his face. Sasuke thought that Naruto looked like a child God just then, sitting on the red bridge as if it was his throne, and his hair made of pure gold. His eyes were the heavens, and his face held all the beauty in the world. Sasuke had to clear his throat. He tried not to have thoughts like that about Naruto unless he was alone in his bed, with the blanket pulled over his head.

"Okay," Naruto said quietly. His face was lowered again, looking down at where he picked at his nails.

Sasuke's stomach flipped over. "Okay?"

"Yeah."

"As in _okay_."

"Yup."

Sasuke got to his feet anxiously. He was suddenly drenched in sweat and scrubbed his hands down his vest. "Well all right then."

"What, now? You want to do it now? Like, _now_ now?" Naruto looked alarmed.

"We have to meet Kakashi in a little under two hours."

"Oh. Right. Oh-okay." Naruto got up and stepped off the bridge. He and Sasuke stood nervously looking anywhere but at each other's faces.

Sasuke felt like he was a bottle of soda someone had shaken enthusiastically. His insides felt all bubbly and gushy, and he felt like his hair was standing straight up on his head from the amount of excitement jumping around in him. He clenched his hands, tensing all his muscles, then unclenched them and shook himself.

No good. Still way too much nerves and excitement in him. He looked at where Naruto was watching him from the corner of his blue eyes. "So… how are we going to do this?"

"Besides me shoving my dick up your-"

"Oh, _what_? No you're not!"

"Changed your mind?" Naruto smiled, ready to tease Sasuke.

"No, but you're not seme. I am."

That wiped the grin off his face. "The fuck you are. I'm stronger."

"I'm taller."

"I'm Jinchuuriki."

"I'm older."

"I'm-"

"Rock paper scissors?"

"Fine."

Two minutes later…

"Damnit, you cheated!" Naruto glared resentfully.

"You have a tell. Okay, so now that _that's_ settled, back to my original question. How are we going to do this?"

"Normal way, I guess."

Sasuke began sweating again, feeling his face heat up. "No, I mean… you know… are we going to do other things?"

Naruto glanced at the sun. "What do you mean, 'other things'? Time's wasting, Sasuke."

"Like… kissing. Foreplay."

Naruto froze in the act of taking off his vest. That hadn't occurred to him. Somehow the idea of kissing Sasuke was more personal than fucking him. "I don't know… you want to?"

"You want me to?"

"If you want to."

"Okay. I've only kissed a few people. You?"

Naruto was aware that Sasuke was stalling. He felt kind of relieved and kind of annoyed. Like, now that the decision had been made, they should just get it done already. "Kissed Hana one time. Kiba dared me. And one time this girl who asked me to be her valentine. She was younger. And… Gaara kissed me once."

" _Gaara?_ "

"Yeah… he's uh… he said he'd wait till I was ready if I ever returned his feelings."

"Why am I just now hearing about this?"

"Sort of a private thing, isn't it?"

"We're best friends, there's no such thing as privacy."

Naruto eyed the high color in Sasuke's cheeks. "We doing this or not?"

Sasuke had allowed Sakura to kiss him once beneath some mistletoe, and later, at the same party, he'd cornered Shino and kissed him just so he could see what the stoic guy would do. Naruto had him beat by having kissed three people.

Time _was_ escaping them, though, so he marched up to Naruto and found, to his shame, that he was too nervous to go through with it. He stood there, inches from Naruto's patiently waiting face, and swallowed convulsively. Then, in a fit of bravery, he threw himself toward Naruto, aiming for his mouth.

Naruto sidestepped. "What the hell was that?"

"I'm trying to kiss you."

"Looks like you're trying to kill me." He kept Sasuke's hands in sight.

Sasuke abruptly turned away. "I can't do this. Forget it. It's too weird."

Naruto deflated with disappointment. The sun was perhaps its own height above the horizon. They'd have to tell Kakashi and a sickeningly gloating Sakura that they'd failed.

-oOo-

Sasuke stood a few feet away from him, watching the setting sun. He was outlined in a glowing aura of light from the rays, and Naruto figured that since they trusted each other enough to have sex, then he should stop being cowardly about other things. Besides, there was a fragrant tree full of white blossoms above them, and beautiful greenery and flowers all around them. It was a good place to say it. Memorable. Poetic.

"I do want you, Sasuke. I love you."

Sasuke turned at hearing the words, eyes wide. Naruto held his gaze, and Sasuke took courage from this. He took courage from Naruto's confession. Then the words really hit him and he strode purposefully to his long-time friend, placed his hands on his cheeks, and kissed him with confidence and his own love making his heart pound.

A few minutes were lost as they tasted each other at long last. Their cheeks burned in embarrassment, but the kiss went on, without stopping, even when it deepened and became wet and hot.

A spark of desire leapt between them, landing on the glowing embers of their hidden feelings. Their bodies went up in a flash fire of sexual need and curiosity that had them naked and stumbling until they were suddenly standing hip deep in the koi pond, with Naruto being pressed against the red bridge.

They were eager. Too eager to try and figure out what all that foreplay entailed. They kissed, as they frott, and sent their hands, wet with pond water, questing over any body part that happened to be available. Balls were squeezed hurriedly, dicks assessed, compared, and acknowledged with barely a flick of their eyes. Kissing, and more kissing, this was the only prelude to sex they had any real knowledge of. When Sasuke hooked one of Naruto's knees over his shoulder and wrapped the other leg around his waste, Naruto didn't protest.

Sasuke spread Naruto and studied the roseate pucker he found there. Pushing his hips forward, he nudged at Naruto's tight sphincter questioningly. They were wet from the pond, so that helped, but other than that it looked like things would have to get rough if he expected to be inside Naruto. He adjusted his hold on Naruto's hips.

"What are you waiting for," Naruto gasped. Supporting his weight by his elbows on the bridge behind him was starting to get painful. "Hurry up and fu-UUHH!"

Sasuke yelled at the same time, but it was because one of the damned koi had bit his ass. He'd jerked reflexively, which had shot him halfway into Naruto's rectum.

"Watch what the fuck you're doing," Naruto raged.

"That little shit bit me!" Sasuke was twisted, staring behind himself at where the offending fish was swimming away.

Naruto squeeze his sphincter experimentally and winced. Sasuke whipped back around, realizing where his dick was. He forgot about the fish.

He asked Naruto if it hurt, to which he receive a curt, "What do you think?"

"Sorry. Should I stop?"

"You're not doing anything."

Sasuke began pulling out, but Naruto held him still with his strong legs. Watching the way Naruto's eyes locked with his own, he rocked forward again.

Naruto blinked. His mouth softened from its tight line of discomfort. "That… keep doing that."

"Okay."

Sasuke's movements made small waves in the pond. A knot of pleasure settled in his belly as he rocked a little faster, then began thrusting, and finally leaned his weight against Naruto's warm chest as he pounded his hips hard. Naruto's eyes were made green by the last rays of the sun. He was gasping harshly, sometimes squeaking Sasuke's name. He held the bridge desperately with one hand while his other jerked frantically on his cock.

"I-is it good?" Sasuke panted.

"Yuh-huh." Naruto's voice was nearly unrecognizable. Deep and shuddery with pleasure at the way Sasuke was nailing him to the bridge.

"You're not going to Gaara."

"Huh?"

"And this isn't just a mission."

"What?"

"And Hinata had better stop following you."

"Sasuke…" Naruto's mind was turning fuzzy. Complicated abilities like speech were leaving him.

"I love you too, Naruto. You have no idea how much."

Naruto couldn't understand what Sasuke was saying. He didn't even know what language he was speaking. His balls were tight with his impending orgasm, but his entire body was in the grip of pleasure so brilliant he thought he'd have to scream. He fisted his cock madly, feeling drool slide down the corner of his mouth as his eyes glazed over.

Sasuke watched it happen. He was a few strokes behind him with his own white-hot orgasm. He bludgeoned Naruto's ass for the final thrusts, churning the water to a frenzied froth that kept any other fish from even _thinking_ about approaching his ass. Even when he was spent, he gave a last hard shove that had Naruto sobbing his name raggedly. Then he was done.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They crawled from the pond to the springy grass and there they fell in a rubbery heap. The sun was down, having set during the loss of their innocence. Naruto estimated that their deadline would arrive in about fifteen minutes. He felt nice and lazy, but not too lazy to get up. He just needed a minute.

Sasuke was on his stomach, face turned from him. From this angle, Naruto could see Sasuke's cursed seal. He reached out a finger and traced the three small marks. Sasuke turned over and looked at him. He smiled uncertainly, bashfully, to which Naruto replied with a toothy grin that split his face. Sasuke blushed at the compliment, burying his face in the grass.

Naruto bounced up, fully recovered, and began throwing on his clothes. "Race you to Kakashi!"


End file.
